For all those people out there who believe aliens exist, there is one big problem… we’ve never heard from them, so where’s the proof? Unless, of course, said people also believe in (or have even experienced) an alien abduction, in which case, there’s your proof. For the sake of this conversation, I’m going to assume those abductions don’t qualify as real proof. Anyway, this lack of evidence is usually referred to as the Fermi paradox, which basically says that if the conditions required to start life are so easy to come by, then life outside of Earth should be common enough that it would be unlikely to have gone undetected. So, that leads to the question, why haven’t we been contacted by aliens?

There are many theories I found floating around the internet to explain why we haven’t been contacted by aliens. Here are seven that I have collected:

1. The universe is huge. It could take hundreds of thousands of years for a signal from one civilization to reach another, depending on where in the universe each is located. Maybe we just need to be patient.
2. We aren’t looking or listening. If we aren’t on the lookout for contact, we might miss it.
3. Communication is key. There are many ways that living things communicate. Maybe we don’t have the ability to detect or understand the messages that are being sent out.
4. Timing is everything. Our civilization and an alien civilization need to exist at the same time. Alternatively, an alien civilization had to have existed at a time that, when a message was sent out, by the time it arrived at Earth, we were sufficiently advanced to receive and understand it.
5. Aliens just don’t exist. It is possible that aliens don’t exist. Or they did, but some mass extinction event (like the ones documented on Earth) wiped them out.
6. Aliens are making secret contact. It is possible aliens are visiting Earth in secret. Or maybe even not so secret (see “alien abductions” above), and we just don’t believe the ones who have been contacted.
7. Aliens aren’t interested in us. We might be considered a young and underdeveloped civilization not worth contacting.

I don’t particularly like any of these theories. Or rather, I think the reason we haven’t been contacted is a combination of several of these theories, especially #1, #3, and #4, and one thing that most of what I found online didn’t really consider. Start by thinking about Earth and all the millions of species here. As far as we know, there is only one species of all those millions that has been able to even think about communicating with life on other planets. Many of the theories I found (including all seven above) just assume the existence of intelligent life that has evolved enough to send messages to space. That’s quite an assumption…

What I think is most likely, is that there is alien life, but it is more along the lines of single celled organisms that are incapable of sending out messages to the universe for us to find. And if there is intelligent life out there, the universe is huge, and it takes time for messages (that we hopefully know how to detect and interpret) to make it from whatever originating alien planet to Earth. So, for all we know, there is a message on its way right now. And if we assume that is the case, several important questions arise: Will humans still be around to receive it when it arrives? Will we be able to understand it? Will the alien civilization that sent it still be around when the message gets to Earth?

What do you think? Is there life outside of Earth? If you think there is, do you think it is intelligent life? If so, why haven’t we heard from them?

If you’ve been following my 12 Sleeps ‘til Christmas publishing journey, you may have seen a few posts and comments about how this book is extra special to me. Most of my books are dedicated to my boys (however many were in existence at the time of publishing) or family in general. This book is a bit different. 12 Sleeps ‘til Christmas is dedicated to two important women in my life who I lost in 2023 – Grandma Betty and Mrs Davis.

I have so many great memories of my Grandma Betty, a lot of them at her lake house. But this book is partially dedicated to her because of all the special things she did for Christmas. She hosted her (quite large) family on Christmas Day every year, which provided many memories in itself. But she was a very talented artist, and shared much of her work with her family. Each new member of the family – whether her own child, a new son or daughter in law, a grandchild, the spouse of a grandchild, a great grandchild – received a hand knit stocking. For years, she gifted hand carved santas to each of her children. These are so coveted, I’ve only managed to snag one for myself from my parents’ collection of more than a dozen. All this to explain that when I think of Christmas, I think of Grandma Betty.

The book is also dedicated to Mrs Davis. I met Donna (always Mrs D to me) when I was 5 years old. She was the school crossing guard for the intersection by my house. Despite the decades between us, we hit it off immediately. the whole family got to know Mrs Davis, especially her love of snowmen. Each winter, she would lovingly unpack hundreds of snowmen and decorate her entire house with them. Not only that, but each one had a name that started with an S, and she could tell you who gave her each one. Her and her love of snowmen was actually the inspiration for a short story I wrote years ago. She would also sign Christmas cards as Billie the Brownie, who (for those of you like me who had no idea who/what that is) was an elf that had a radio show where he would talk with Santa and read him letters from kids around the Milwaukee area. So, similar to Grandma Betty, I can’t think of winter and Christmas without thinking of Mrs Davis.

Now, it was special enough to write a family-themed, wintery/Christmas story that made me think of these two women the whole time, but this book was made a whole lot more special by the illustrator I worked with. I explained how the book was to be dedicated to these two women, and why. And she was able to put some special easter eggs in a few of the illustrations.

There is snow throughout the book, but I said there HAD to be a snowman somewhere. So this spread’s snowman is special beyond just illustrating the text. And of course I’ve given it an S name. This is Sleepy the Snowman.

This next spread shows hand knit stockings hung at the fireplace and a display of carved santas on the table. The santas pop up in another place too, but this spread is one of my favorites because it has a bit of everything. There’s even an easter egg from the Lien side! That figurine next to the santas is a family of singing meerkats that was always out at Grandma Sandy’s house during Christmas, usually in the bathroom (so any time anyone went to the bathroom the meerkats would sing).

These are just the special aspects related to Grandma Betty and Mrs Davis. There are many more memories and traditions from my family that I won’t go into (it could be a book in itself!). But I hope that everyone can find some connection to their own holiday memories and traditions. In fact, I’d love to hear about how 12 Sleeps ‘til Christmas reminds you of your holiday traditions!

One thing I remember clearly from my time at school (especially high school), was both of my parents telling me that if I had homework trouble, I’d have to find someone else to help me. Especially for math. Not because they didn’t want to help me, but because they knew they wouldn’t be able to. When I needed calculus help in college, I had to call my friend’s dad (also my dad’s friend) to come over and give me a crash course in whatever was giving me problems in that unit. I was lucky enough (nerdy enough?) to not need homework help often, and resources when I did need it. But, what about those kids who don’t like math, like I did? Or parents that also don’t like math? I’ve done some research (aka googling) and come up with some ideas of how to get kids to enjoy math more, and what to do if you are both in over your heads and need help.

First up, some ideas on how to make math more fun!

1. Math games!  There are so many games that involve math. Board games, card games, online games, you name it. Especially in today’s world, there’s an app for that. Find a game that reinforces a math concept, and your kiddo can unknowingly be learning while they play.
2. Books with hidden math. My current favorite picture book is 100 Mighty Dragons All Named Broccoli. There is a lot of addition and subtraction woven into the story, but in a way that doesn’t actually seem like you are doing math. I love it. Find some books that weave math into the story.
3. Find some real-world applications. I myself was known to say things like “when am I ever going to use this?” And, things like calculus have so far proven to not have been very useful. But, for elementary math, it is ALL used, like every day. So show some examples to prove that what your kiddo is learning will actually be very useful. Think things like getting change, figuring out how many toys they can buy with their birthday money, measuring ingredients for a recipe, etc.

Now, what about some ideas or resources if neither one of you likes or understands the math homework?

1. Be positive. First and foremost, you want to keep your dislike for math to yourself. Just like when we pretend to love that one vegetable that we actually hate, don’t get kids to hate math before they even have a chance to decide for themselves.
2. Talk to the teacher. Parent-Teacher conferences are a great time to discuss how your child is doing in math, and what kinds of things you can do to help. But, you don’t have to wait for the conferences, send an email whenever! They are with your kid every day and probably have a pretty good idea of how they best learn and can give some pointers.
3. Try different approaches. People learn in different ways. What works best for your kid? Hands-on activities, visual aids, verbal explanations? Try several and see what works. Again, your child’s teacher may be able to help with which approach will be most effective.
4. Use online resources. There are so many math websites, videos, YouTube pages, tutorials, etc. Do some searching to find something that explains what your child is struggling with. Just a change of perspective or method of delivery can make all the difference. Personally, I used Khan Academy a bit for some tough math concepts. It’s free and they have videos for every level of math.
5. Connect with other parents. Join a Facebook group. I guarantee there are other parents currently going through exactly what you are, and others who have already gone through it. See what they recommend.
6. Learn together! After using those online resources, or chatting with the teacher or other parents,  work together to understand the material. It will be extra special to your kiddo if you are learning and working together. And, bonus for you, you now know a new math concept!
7. Find a tutor. There are so many tutors out there. I actually tutored for a bit myself, just after college. I did in-person tutoring (back in the dark ages), but online tutoring is extremely popular right now. It is really convenient because no one has to leave their house, and you can listen in with your child.

No matter your relationship with math, it’s here to stay. If you want to help your child succeed, make sure you build that positive attitude toward math, stay involved, and provide help in whatever way you can. Hopefully, you’ve found some good resources and ideas from my list!